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Sexuality Questions and Answers
We get a lot of people writing to us asking questions about sex. So we have added an ‘Ask a Question’ feature to our sexuality pages – to help share questions and answers as a way of helping one another.
Please use Facebook Connect (below) to add your questions / comments – the best questions and answers will be added to the page.
Karene (September, 2012)
Question: Is Masturbation Good?
It seems pretty odd to ask you this question .. but I want to know is masturbation good? I don’t take any intoxicants or drinks but I am addicted to masturbation. I feel guilty about it. It happens once a fortnight or once a week. I don’t know how to stop myself doing it.
Thanks for your message.
Masturbation is a normal and healthy part of exploring our sexuality. It can help us to learn about our bodies and pleasure. If you don’t have a partner, masturbation plays an important role in sexual release. It is really good for your health (general well being, happiness, relaxation) to orgasm a few times a week (we are all different though – some people may need more or less).
I am sorry you feel guilty about masturbation. Why do you? Were you taught it was a bad thing to do? Does it go against your religious beliefs? There is nothing wrong about masturbation. Once a fortnight, or even once a week does not mean you are addicted. Masturbating a few times a week is very normal.
Age is another important factor. How old are you? Young men in their teens, twenties .. generally masturbate more. I think masturbating several times a day (if it was disrupting your life, had become an obsession) would constitute an addiction.
I presume you don’t have a girlfriend / boyfriend. If you really want to stop masturbating, once you have a partner, you will probably masturbate less.
Hope this helps
I am 19 years old. When i was 13 my cousin took me to a secluded spot, took off my clothes and had sex with me. Then my brother and I did the same thing. I resolved never do it again and i never did, but I started masturbating a lot (3-6 times a week). Now I am more mature and controlled, but whenever the thought of masturbating comes I can’t control myself.
I do a sex-like act with the bed and touch my anus with fingers, but I never think of any girl (or anyone) with bad feelings.
Yes, I don’t have a girlfriend. Thanks for being interested in my big problem,I would appreciate if you suggest something more to help.
Thanks for your reply and sharing some of your sexual history with me.
Where are you from originally? Are you Indian? Muslim? Hindu?
Do you think it is common in your culture for men to learn about sex with other men / close friends / family members?
I imagine it is more common than people wish to admit or talk about.
I hope this helps you. Take care,
Yes, that certainly helps. Thanks for being a good mentor. I am an Indian and Sikhism is my religion. I do not know whether its common or not, but I’d like to think it is not. I was never forced.
You can still satisfy a woman with a small penis (don’t worry!). Think about how often you can ejaculate (once a day?). If you masturbate to ejaculation before you have sex, this will prolong sexual intercourse. Experiment. To satisfy a woman, the aim is for her to orgasm, which may take 5 minutes to 1 hour (all women are different!).
I hope this helps you.